Borat's Guide To Hunting

(Borat is standing in the English countryside)

Borat - Every Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp. Some like to make the jam. But the most fun is to kill a little animal with a shotgun or rip him up with a wild dog. This is why I come to the countryside to find out about English hobbies.

(Borat is with an elderly hunter)

Borat - Hello. You are here on a hunt?

Hunter - Yes, yes I am indeed.

Borat - And you are... Why do you not have a horse?

Hunter - Can't afford one to be quite honest.

Borat - Why not?

Hunter - I'm retired now.

Borat - You are a retard?

Hunter - Yes I am... www.webgeordie.co.uk/borat

Borat - Like a mongoloid?

Borat - So you hunt a lot?

Hunter - I hunt a lot? Yes.

Borat - You are a real man!

Hunter - Yes, yes I am.

Borat - We say, "A man who does not hunt", in Kazakhstan, "Is like a man with no..." How do you say?

(Borat gesture to his groin)

Hunter - You say, "You've no bollocks", I think.

Borat - Bollocks?

Hunter - I shouldn't say that.

Borat - You have big bollocks?

Hunter - Yes, probably.

Borat - You have big bollocks?

Hunter - I shouldn't think so. Not now.

Borat - Can I touch them?

Hunter - No.

Borat - Why?

Hunter - It's private.

(Borat is with a cheerful policeman)

Borat - You are English Policeman?

Policeman - Yes

Borat - Hello

(Borat proceeds to kiss the policeman on both cheeks)

Borat - Do you believe in the hunt?

Policeman - I have to remain impartial with my views.

Borat - Because you are English Policeman! The greatest police in the force!

Policeman - And they say, "Everything is cricket", in England. Don't they?

Borat - Everything is cricket? This is cricket?

Policeman - No no no. It's just a saying, just a saying.

Borat - They play?

Policeman - Cricket?

Borat - Yes, cricket.

Policeman - Cricket is a gentleman's sport and everyone has the right to be gentlemen in England, as such.

Borat - And they play cricket today?

Policeman - No no no. I am confusing you now. Forget the cricket side of things. It's just a saying anyway.

Borat - And people they protest against the cricket?

Policeman - Forget the cricket! It's just a saying. I just said, "Cricket". It has nothing to do with the hunting.

Borat - So why did you say it?

(Borat is talking to two protestors; one a short middle aged woman; the other a teenage girl)

Borat - Why do you like to hunt the fox?

Protestor 1 - I do not hunt the fox! I think people that hunt the fox are the scum of the earth.

(Borat shows the lady his bear hunting badge on his jacket lapel)

Borat - In Kazikstan...

Protestor 1 - You kill bears!

Borat - Yes. Kill them.

Protestor 1 - He kills bears!

Protestor 2 - You kill bears! That's evil

Borat - No. In Kazakhstan we shoot animal. We do not hunt the fox.

Protestor 2 - Well you shouldn't be talking to us because we love animals.

Borat - We love animal too.

Protestor 1 - So why do you shoot them?

Borat - For fun.

Protestor 1 - You evil bastard! Piss off!

(Borat walks away but then returns)

Borat - I do not kill fox.

Protestor 1 - But you kill bears.

Borat - There is no more bears in Kazakhstan.

Protestor 1 - Because you've killed them all!

(Borat is talking to two different protestors; both middle aged women)

Borat - In Kazakhstan we love animals.

Protestor - Good for you.

Borat - We have most popular program on television is animal program.

Protestor - Good.

Borat - Is called, "Dancing Dog and Cat". They dress the dog like a family Royal, like Prince Elizabeth, one with the crown and they dance.

Protestor - But do they treat that animal well.

Borat - Yes they treat very well. They give them food and they only have... (Borat mimics a dog dancing) And the floor is a bit hot so they jump...

(Borat is talking to an elderly hunter on a horse)

Borat - It is great... We love in Kazakhstan to kill animals. For a hunt is so much fun.

Hunter - It is much fun. It is much fun.

Borat - It is a great fun when you kill an animal.

Hunter - It is. It is. It is.

Borat - It make you feel like a real man.

Hunter - It does. It makes you feel big.

(Borat is talking to a hunter outside of a van)

Borat - We like to shoot the dog in Kazakhstan.

Hunter - You shoot dogs? Do you? Well in England we rather like dogs.

Borat - But why you like them? In Kazakhstan they say this they think you crazy.

(Borat finishes the interview)

Borat - Thank you very much.

Hunter - Bye. Have a good journey.

(Borat kisses the hunter's cheeks and then gives him a hug which seems to go on for ever)

COUNTRYSIDE PROTEST

(Borat is with an elderly man in a field full of demonstrators who support hunting. The man comes across as genuinely sad).

Man - The Labour Government is so Anti-Britain. I don't understand it.

Borat - There are men who homosexual there?

Man - There are! Some of them are homosexual. And it seems to me that nowadays you never hear of anything else. It's dreadful.

Borat - You only hear about homosexuals?

Man - Yes, it's awful. Pathetic.

Borat - You think that Blair is a man who takes his clothes off and makes his hràng go hard and put it in another man's bottom?

Man - No, not Blair. But some of the others are doing it.

(The scene cuts to the end of the interview and the farewells).

Borat - Good luck

Man - And good luck with your comedy.

(Borat gives the man a big hug and attempts to kiss him on both cheeks. The man breaks this off rather abruptly).

Man - No thank you

Borat - I kiss to say thank you!

(Borat gives him another hug this times succeeding to kiss him on both cheeks)

Man - Oh dear! Oh quite.

PARTRIDGE SHOOT

(Borat is firstly pictures struggling to cross a ploughed field. Borat is then shown taclking to a plump middle aged chap who has a dead partridge in his hands).

Borat - What does the Partridge taste like?

Man - Slightly stronger than chicken. Very nice

Borat - You eat the Partridge?

Man - Oh yes

Borat - You like to eat? You are big and fat? (Borat grabs the man and gives him a friendly shake).

Man - (Rather embarassed). Shhhhh

Borat - You are fat!

Man - (Rather annoyed). No, I'm not.

(The scene cuts to the man showing Borat the dead partridge).

Borat - Hello Mr Partridge. You have a nice day? What does he say? You do the voice.

Borat - And is... this is dead? Hello Mr Partridge how are you?

Man - (Doing a 'partridge voice' and making the dead partridge's mouth move). I'm very well Borat. How are you?

Borat - Very good. You having a nice day today?

Man - I am.

Borat - And are you from England?

Man - Yes.

Borat - And are you English Gentleman?

Man - Yes.

Borat - And how old are you?

Man - (Obviously a bit sick of doing the 'partridge voice' and making the dead partridge's mouth move). I don't know.

(Borat is pictured standing next to a lady in a Barbour Jacket. The lady carries her young child. The young child carries a dead partridge).

Borat - Well we say goodbye from English Partridge shoot. Thank you, Jagshemash.