The Unofficial Borat Homepage

The Unofficial Borat Homepage

Borat's Guide to the USA, Episode One: Dating

Borat at the Great Expectation's Dating Agency

The start of Borat's Guide to the USA sees Kazakhstan's 6th most famous person try and find an American girl to marry. His first stop is with the lovely Jenny Noel from Great Expectations Dating Agency. He explains to Jenny how he will offer a future American wife a good life, but if the lady cheats on him he will "crush her".

Borat then brags that he will buy the lucky lady a TV remote control, a red dress and that he is a big man. He is in fact as big as a can of Pepsi! One of the most important attributes that our man from Kazakhstan looks for in a girl is that she has "plough experience". At least one years plough experience that is.

The Dating School and Sharlene Talbot have never met anyone like this chap

Borat's next stop is to visit Dating School and people skills guru Sharlene Talbot. It would appear that Borat's tolerance of any girl's cheating has not gone down at all since his chat with Jenny. However, Borat is keen to get on to the subject of how to persuade his date into having "sexy intercourse".

Borat lets slip that he was once married, but of course as we know from Borat's Guide to Britain, his wife is dead, she died in a field and he doesn't really care as he didn't like her anyway.

Has Borat found a future wife?

It's then time for Borat to put his new found knowledge to the test with the ladies in Speed Dating meetings. Borat is lined up with three very pretty, but arguably not the sharpest, young American ladies. Over a glass of wine or two he tries to get their affections.

He tells one how if she cheats he will crush her, she replies that she doesn't like cheaters very much either. He tells another how she reminds him of his dead wife. Finally he tells a pretty young thing that he has not had "sexy intercourse" for one week!

What Borat looks for in a girl:

1. Blonde
2. No retardment in family
3. Ploughing experience
   (preferably one year)
4. Good physique
5. Tight, like a man's anus
6. Nice face
7. Non Jew

Borat Quickie...

What can't you do if you want to marry a girl in America?

Click for answer

Borat moments to remember...

Borat is explaining to Jenny Noel how he is looking for a wife to take home to Kazakhstan...

Jenny "So you are saying you have a good life, and back home you could provide a good life for her?"

Borat: "But if she cheat on me..." (Ms Noel starts to giggle) "Why you laugh?"

Jenny: "I think that's sweet keep going."

Borat: "But if she cheat on me, I will crush her!"

Borat is explaining to a potential date how she reminds me of his ex-wife...

Borat: "My older wife..."

Girl: "Your previous wife?" (she breaks away giggling)

Borat: "Yes" (the girl continues to laugh) "Why you laughing? She is dead!"

Girl: "Oh, I am sorry."

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